Check it out. I think you should act like you're surfing, little hula girl, and skate across that apex of the curve like it's a giant wave. Wanna try?

First take all the scaredy cat- "i'm gonna fall down"- shit and tuck that in your hip. That's where your gravity is so it's your safe place and you need to act like a careful kitty and keep your balance. So, you need to get into position. Hmmm...Maybe this is one of those times when you take off your skates. (It should be a rare time.) Get on the floor in your stocking feet. And then, get in your derby form.

To Whom It May Concern.
Derby Form shall consist of the following:
+ A nice straight back
+An erect constitution. Shoulders back. No slouching.
+Feet shall be placed a shoulder width apart with weight evenly distributed.
+ Knees bent at a 45 degree angle such that the hands, when outstreched shall meet squarely with the knees.
+One should give the appearance of a person not yet sat in a chair and thereby ready to pounce in any direction at any given moment.
+ When in derby form one shall be aware of all that surrounds her/him. A serene knowing look should gaze out to meet any oposition on the track.

Anyhow, it's an old memo. Maybe you didn't get it.

Now that you're in form, you need to think of yourself on the apex of a turn. Your left foot is riding the inside line. Reach your left hand down and touch a point just left of your left foot. Bend your left knee deep and tuck your butt towards your heel while you're stretching out the right knee a bit. Pretend that point you're touching is the apex and look out towards the opposite side of the pretend track. Let your shoulders follow your eyes. The wind in your hair... And now your coming back, you're in a chair, at work, wasting company time reading derby blogs....But you were there... you know what it feels like to surf. To glide around a corner and make the floor push away, boomeranging you forward and onto the straight away. Or at least you can imagine.
I think the real secret is in your muscle. If you can harness your muscles and push inside on a turn, while pushing with your legs for speed, you can balance the pull of centrifical force pulling your center out to the suicide seats. It takes practice and muscle...and balls...and faith in physics.
It may sound like it's a lot to go into for just what your position should be at the apex of a turn. But think about all the chaos that goes into one turn. It's a blender. If you can hold your shit on a turn you can do all kinds of fun shit. You can learn to move that kinetic energy into the opposing jammer. You know, those big perfect hits to the out side that send girls sailing. Cool, man.
And think about all those fools who will try to hit you on the turns.. If you have your bearings and you're steady spaghetti you can always Roll out. Rolling out is newer.. it wasn't a memo it was a tweet.

Tweet::@::Roll Out- Get low and in front of a hit. Bend those knees and get super wide and steady. Brace yourelf and lean forward. Roll your shoulders down and towards the inside of the track. Stick your little neck out and push your hips in front of that blocker before she lands the big hit and puts your lights out. And keep skating. Keep skating.

Rolling out of a big hit is one of those useful tools you want to keep handy. You'll save yourself a lot of floor spilling if you can just get low and get out of the hit.

Anyhow, try some surfing and tell me how it goes. Also, dudes, send me some inspiring pictures of you and your league.