Lesson the Twelth: If you're so fast, why you always behind me??

Posted on 7:45 AM
The best part of my day? Holding the fastest jammer on our team behind me in scrimmage. Not so fast now, are ya speed skater? ::evil bunny grin::

You’ve got to get in where you fit in, and so what if you’re not the fastest skater on the team. Use what you have, and I’ve got W-I-D-T-H! I’ve got long Bunny legs in a wide stance that can span half the track and a little bunny tail that will be all up in that jammers face. As for speed, I’ve got it side-to-side. I can block her outside and still beat her back to the line. But this isn’t about me and my big head bragging. This is about how to! Right?

Welp, first you set your self to swizzle skating every chance you get. Get comfortable, really comfy, with all eight wheels on the ground in fluid motions. Swizzle skating is the basis for all great blocking. And if there is one thing you should master it is the swizzle in all its very simple forms. “But why Bunniebunbun? What’s so great about slaloms? What’s so fancy about an hourglass?” you ask. And I say some explicative but then really to address your questions I’d offer this little gem right herr; with all eight wheels on the ground, with a solid and wide stance, with your shoulders turned in to the left and your eyes peering magnificently into the eyes of that hurried jammer, with all that going for you, why not?

My brandest newest advice: Swizzle your heart out. Let swizzling be your automatic gear. Work on widening your stance by sitting down into it. Let your shoulders guide you around the track, always turned the direction you’d most like to go. And of course keep those eyeballs peeled!

Once you’re comfortable, really comfy, begin to challenge yourself by lunging across the track from inside to outside and outside to inside in just one strong move. Do it faster and control it more each time. You’ll notice that the positioning of your toes and shoulders will determine your course while the thrust and change in your body weight distribution determines the speed of this lateral movement. You want to point yourself in the right direction while basically throwing your weight hither or thither, depending.

This is the kind of skill that will neutralize those bronze-baby-skate-havin-grand-slammin-jammer types. Work hard on these things and soon you’re going to be one hard to get by blocker!

Lesson Eleven: Fake it 'til ya Make it!

Posted on 12:16 PM
I hear so much about strategy lately and to be honest, I just don't get most of it. I try to understand but my big bunny brain is just too full of nonsense and exaggerated claims. So, in case you're like me I'm going to show you how to fake like you know what your doing.

Stay real close to your buddies. Touch them, look at them, listen to them, and try to do what they do-especially if they act like they know what to do!

Stay tuned-in. This takes uhhm...uhhh...practice. When I'm not taking medication for ADHD it takes even more practice, and forget it if there's something shiney. During league scrimmages and practices I try to avoid any un-derby-related topics. During a bout I could be a victim of spontaneous human combustion and never know.

Talk to yourself, shout at others. Keep a running dialogue of what is happening at all times and shout out the good parts. ("Jammer coming up right behind me, like kind of to the outside- no! Inside! Oh shit, here she's trying it again- outside! I've got the line! You go out! We missed her! Water falling now- I'm going up! She's getting tired and frustrated. Our jammer is ten feet from the pack, five feet!")

Keep your eyes wide open. In practice, it sometimes gets boring to always look behind you. But if you practice this during every drill it will become second nature.

If you're still unsure of what you should be doing try taking a look at my fancy flo-tegery chart below.


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